Dental Floss
by WaxBadger
Summary: This is a very silly My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic. In this story, Pinkie Pie wakes up each one of her friends and offers them dental floss.


**Dental Floss**

It was 4:00 AM in Ponyville and Pinkie Pie was up bright and early. She had something special to give her friends, and the first one she visited that morning was Rarity. When she came up to her house, Pinkie Pie leaped into her bedroom through the window and hopped onto her bed.

"Good morning Rarity, it's time for your dental floss!" said Pinkie Pie.

Rarity woke up, "For goodness sake Pinkie Pie, I'm trying to get my beauty sleep."

"But what about beauty teeth?" asked Pinkie Pie, "Don't you want to make them shine like the beautiful shiny pearls on this outfit?"

"Don't touch that, put it back!" yelled Rarity who saw Pinkie Pie wearing the unfinished outfit, "And for your info, I have a fine set of dental care products that I'll use later this morning thank you. Now go."

"Fine, just trying to help," said Pinkie Pie as she left out the window. She then bounced her way over to Sweet Apple Acres to visit Applejack. Like before, she jumped into her friend's bedroom and hopped onto the bed.

"Good morning Applejack, it's time for your dental floss!" said Pinkie Pie.

Applejack woke up, "What? Now why on Equestria would I use dental floss if I haven't eaten my apple turnover yet?"

"Wouldn't you like to chew your turnover with the cleanest teeth you've ever had," said Pinkie Pie.

"Since a turnover is going to mess my teeth anyway, I don't see the point," said Applejack, "and I know you're trying to be kind Pinkie Pie but I got a busy day ahead, and I'd like to have more shut eye before sunrise."

"Just one little string?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"No, now scram so I can sleep!" yelled Applejack.

So Pinkie Pie left for Fluttershy's house. When she arrived, she once again jumped through the window and hopped onto the bed.

"Good morning Fluttershy, it's time for your dental floss!" yelled Pinkie Pie.

Fluttershy woke up frightened, and flew up from her bed cradling her pillow. But then saw that it was just Pinkie Pie with dental floss, and flew back down to her mattress, "Oh, hi Pinkie Pie," she said, "I'm sorry, what did you need again?"

"I'm giving dental floss to all of my friends this morning," said Pinkie Pie, "It's going to be a bright sunny day, and with a bright sunny day you need bright sunny teeth."

"Well gee thanks, but no thanks," said Fluttershy, "I already used some dental floss before bedtime."

"But you should floss twice a day," said Pinkie Pie, "If you forget to floss your teeth, they'll start to rot. And if they start to rot, then you won't be able to eat these carrots!"

Pinkie Pie started eating carrots from the basket, the sound of which woke up Angel Bunny outside. The rabbit hopped into the bedroom, and scowled at Pinkie Pie with crossed arms and thumping his right foot.

"Oh, hi Angel Bunny, I was just demonstrating, hee hee," said Pinkie Pie.

Angel Bunny was not forgiving. He picked up a carrot and started poking Pinkie Pie with it, forcing her downstairs and out the front door which he slammed shut.

"I'm determined to give dental floss to someone today," said Pinkie Pie, "Maybe Rainbow Dash will want some!"

So Pinkie Pie bounced her way to Rainbow Dash's house. Defying gravity as usual, she hopped up in the air and once again jumped through the window and hopped onto the bed.

"Good morning Rainbow Dash, it's time for your dental floss!" said Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash woke up, "Are you kidding? The sun is not even up yet."

"It's never too early to take care of your teeth," said Pinkie Pie.

Rainbow Dash wasn't pleased, and growled at Pinkie Pie with her teeth showing. Pinkie Pie looked close at her friend's teeth and saw something, "Oooh, I see some lettuce right there. Let me fix that for you."

Pinkie Pie forced Raindow Dash's mouth open and flossed between the teeth where she saw the lettuce. Rainbow Dash pushed Pinkie Pie back and took the floss out of her mouth.

"Pinkie Pie, I don't need to floss my teeth now, I need my sleep!" said Rainbow Dash.

"But Rainbow Dash, that lettuce is still-

"BEAT IT!" yelled Rainbow Dash.

Sadly, Pinkie Pie hopped out of Rainbow Dash's house and back onto the ground below, "Why don't any of my friends want dental floss?" she wondered.

There was only one friend left to visit, Twilight Sparkle. No differently from the other four ponies, Pinkie Pie jumped into her bedroom and hopped onto the bed.

"Good morning Twilight, it's time for your dental floss!" said Pinkie Pie.

Twilight woke up, "It can't be morning already, is it?" she asked.

Spike woke up and checked the clock, "Uh, technically, but I don't care," he said as he went back to sleep.

Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie and asked, "Why are you here offering me dental floss at this hour?"

"I just want to give my friends dental floss," said Pinkie Pie, "I've been to Rarity's, Applejack's, Fluttershy's, and Rainbow Dash's, but none of them want to clean their teeth. I'm hoping that you're smart enough to know how important it is."

"Of course it's important to clean your teeth, but not until after you have gotten up and had breakfast," said Twilight.

"Okay, would you like some pancakes topped with strawberries and scrambled eggs?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Not right now," said Twilight, "Look Pinkie Pie, you can't bounce into someone's house at half past four in the morning and expect them to floss their teeth."

"Oh please Twilight Sparkle, you must take some dental floss, you're my last hope, PLEASE!" pleaded Pinkie Pie.

Twilight sighed, "All right, I'll take a string but I'm not using it right now. I have a large amount of work to do for Princess Celestia and I don't want to wake up late, so if you excuse I'm going back to sleep."

"Promise me that you use that dental floss?" requested Pinkie Pie.

"Yes I will Pinkie Pie, now go home," said Twilight irritably, "and use the front door when you exit."

"Goodbye Twilight, go ahead and throw that floss away behind my back," said Pinkie Pie as she left with a huff.

Later at dawn, Pinkie Pie was walking through the woods feeling sorry for herself. Along the way she was noticed by Zecora who was gathering straw.

"I see a soul who is not feeling her best, either you are sad or have not had much rest," said Zecora.

"Hi Zecora," said Pinkie Pie, "I'm not having a good morning, none of my friends want any dental floss and they all turned me away."

"They reject dental floss and you lose reason to live? Certainly there are better things that you can give," said Zecora.

"Lose my reason to live? Never!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie, "Would you like some dental floss?"

Zecora looked at the floss and said, "No, and why do you offer such a thing? All I see is a spool of string."

"It's no ordinary spool of string Zecora. Look, it cleans your teeth!" said Pinkie Pie as she demonstrated, "See? Nice and sparkly!"

"That may be good for people like you, but I have no need for that. My magic will do," said Zecora.

"You're telling me you have something better than dental floss?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"If I did, I wouldn't have yellow teeth," said Zecora, "Now please forgive me, for I must gather more leaves."

So as Zecora continued to harvest herbs, Pinkie Pie went home angry. "From now on, whatever I give my friends will give them cavities," she said.

**THE END**


End file.
